Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
