Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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