His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
