i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
