the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
