Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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