It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
