hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
