Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
