Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
