I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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