please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
