Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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