There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
