He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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