we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
