I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
