I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
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