I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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