Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
