Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She announced her abortion via fbk
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
