Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
