She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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