it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
