I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
