wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
