Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
