I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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