like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
time to smoke my breakfast
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
