Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
