you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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