I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
