i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
vagina is talking i cant
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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