please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
How's work?
Spinning.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
