if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
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