Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
