I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
