You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
