went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
