it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm too high and old for this...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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