did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I could fuck to npr.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
