I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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