So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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