garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
