At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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