And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
