He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
