i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
