Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
