you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think my nap took me to another dimension
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
