i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
