I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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